Bad Company
A lifer sentenced to 622 years? And the best years of his life, too! Just think how high the rents will be by the time he gets out! Because, of course, life expectancy is rising all the time... But there's worse than that. Worse than weeks of solitary confinement in complete darkness, reading "War and Peace" (in Braille) over and over again... Worse than prison cooking, the cause of innumerable riots... Worse than the doctor, who meticulously examines his patients before killing them... What could be worse than all that? It's Montecristo!